Minnesota United FC Spring Season Preview

With the MLS season starting, it’s gotten us thinking about the start of Minnesota United FC’s season.  Here’s some particulars about how the season goes.

The spring season is 9 games long.  The winner gets a spot in the playoffs, while the rest of the teams get to try again in the Fall.  But the record from the spring still will matter, as the two teams with the best record over the two seasons get a ticket to the playoffs as well.  Got all that?

We’ve got the short end of the stick (along with 5 other teams) and we only have 4 home games. So it’ll be an uphill battle for spring title.

@ San Antonio Scorpions April 12th

Why should you care? This is the first game of the season.  It’ll be great to see if all those off season acquisitions and trips can make a difference.

Why should you hate (or at least make fun of) the Scorpions? They employ crotch punchers.   They share I-35 with us.  They think they have a shot at MLS, or at least before Minnesota.

Will we win?  Probably not.  The scorpions have made some decide signings this winter, and they are at home.  However, don’t be surprised by a draw in this game.

@ Ottawa Fury April 19th

Why should you care? They are an expansion team, and it could be an easy 3 points away for Minnesota.

Why should you hate (or at least make fun of) the Fury?  Not sure yet.  And really, who can hate Canadians.

Will we win? We should, that’s for sure.  A new team, without the deep pockets the Cosmos had coming into the league last year, against our boys, who kept most of the good pieces from last year and replaced those that didn’t?  Should be 3 points.

FC Edmonton April 26th

Why should you care? This is the first home game!  Who wouldn’t be excited about getting out into the crisp April air and watching our Minnesota boys play our formerly closest opponent.

Why should you hate (or at least make fun of) Edmonton? Edmonton has been decidedly mediocre the past couple of seasons.  Plus their goalkeep was an underpants model.

Will we win? Yes we should, but with FC Edmonton, it is just as likely to be a drab 1-1 draw.  They tend to play a very defensive soccer style, and it might be tough to break them down at home, where they are likely to hunker down and wait for a break.

Indy Eleven May 3rd

Why should you care? Indy Eleven is another new expansion team, and the first one in the US midwest.  It’s great to have a team somewhat closer (still quite a drive away).

Why should you hate (or at least make fun of) Indy? Because while their logo is pretty solid, their team name is terrible.  And they got 7,000 season ticket holders.  Hate and jealousy are very similar emotions.

Will we win?  Who knows.  The front office at Indy Eleven knows it needs to put a decent product out there for their rabid fanbase.  I’m hoping the Eleven do well, just not against us.  A draw seems likely, a win should happen.

@NY Cosmos May 12th

Why should you care?  A bunch of dark clouds and Minnesota fans will be there.  And they will get to see a team that basically bought their history and relies on Pele to sell their brand.  Wait, that’s why you should hate them.  Why you should care is that they have Senna, who is probably the best player in the NASL.

Why should you hate (or at least make fun of) the Cosmos? Seriously, they are the Yankees of the NASL.  There are plenty of reasons to hate them.

Will we win?  Probably not.  Minnesota doesn’t have a strong track record against the Yankees, if the MLB post-season is any indication.

Ft. Lauderdale Strikers May 17th

Why should you care? It’s a home game.  We also get to sing “You came a long way to lose!” when we go up 3-0 in the second half.

Why should you hate (or at least make fun of) the Strikers? They are likely going the way of the dodo once the Miami Beckhams become a real thing.

Will we win? I hope so.  At home versus the Strikers should mean 3 points.

Carolina Railhawks May 24th

Why should you care?  Conner Tobin will be back!

Why should you hate (or at least make fun of) the Railhawks?  Seriously, what is a railhawk?  Also, you steal Turbo, you get the eternal hate of me.

Will we win? They have traditionally been a very tough team, and had the best record last year over the two seasons.  I’ll be happy with a draw, ecstatic with a win.

@ Atlanta Silverbacks May 31st

Why should you care? This could be the game Minnesota clinches the Spring Championship!  Or not.

Why should you hate (or at least make fun of) the Silverbacks? Their supporters are kind of nutty.  The players are known divers.  And their coach is going to coach through skype this year.

Will we win?  Probably.  I can’t see their coaching situation working out for them.

@ Tampa Bay Rowdies June 7

Why should you care? If we don’t clinch the Spring on the 31st, we’ll clinch it today.  Or not.

Why should you hate (or at least make fun of) the Rowdies? Their supporters are also a bit nutty.

Will we win?  They don’t have Luke Mulholand any more, who’s busy getting  playing time up at RSL, so it would be decent to suspect a win, although a draw would be fine too.

About Bill MK

A writer, an avid consumer of soccer, music, media, books and games, a poorly self-taught handy man, a nom de plume.
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